Fortunate to be able to explore my fantacy at will, dress as much as I like and when I like, then to be able to create my own masterpieces just how I like them is a gift that gives me much pleasure.
I push latex constantly and am devoted to the growth of this fet, but it always seems money is the factor that inhibits its growth, only we who wear it know how fantastic , erotic and sensual it feels.
We dolls live so far apart that when it is possible to meet at events, those are the magic moments we live for, many do not understand why we do it, and maybe even we dont, all I know is I cant live without it now, nor can many of my friends, I was told by a fiction novelist that the persona you create is as real as the vanilla person you are, it is your other role in life, the one you want to be, not the one sosciety created so you could conform to their norms.
I live and plan for the occasions to be that showdoll out there doing my stuff, that is when I feel alive and apreciated.
The excitement of planning a new outfit, the anticipation while making and the end result is a big drving force that keeps the desire going as well, to be fem is so intoxicating yet most men deny that side of themselves for fear of being labelled a poofy, it takes courage to do this and big balls.
Transformation is not only superficial it is so wholistic that your life changes, your needs and desires are different than from before, it is who you percieve who you want to be.
And to be with like minded seems so hard to achieve, because we are different, yet find I feel grateful for it.
Each day is an experience of learning more about myself, Each day I try to do the transformation on more ways than just dressing, it is how you think and how you behave, we all have the abillity to change and for the better is best.
I seek my dreams but don,t sit on my butt and expect them to materialise from no where, I go out and grab them and it aint easy, but once you get your desires the pleasures are so rewarding.
It is the end of August 2010 and one of my dreams is to have my dream doll house, I move in in a few days and there I can do transformations on aspiring dolls, I will make their latex gear and teach them the way dolls should be.
Spirit The Rubber Doll